I’m really good at noticing when something’s wrong – especially when it’s something wrong with someone else. It’s easy to point out the missteps of someone else or call attention to gaps in their life and work. Mark Batterson, in his book Primal, says that before confronting what’s wrong with others, we need to be humble enough, honest enough, and courageous enough to deal with what’s wrong with us.
Maybe we don’t take a good, hard look at ourselves because we don’t care enough about people. Maybe we’re too busy. Maybe we’re afraid of what we’ll find. Whatever the reason, it’s time…
Listen
It’s time to realize that we simply cannot grow and lead with purpose if we don’t ACTIVELY care for others – family, friends, team members, those we interact with in the marketplace. They don’t need you to sit across the table or stand across the counter waiting for their sentence to end so you can start talking again. They need you to listen – to actually give a rip!
Look in the mirror
It’s time to look in the mirror. And the solution will require more than a face lift. It will require a life change. This life change in its most primal form is not DOING something nice for people. It’s realizing what so many before you have already done for YOU! And it’s realizing what you were made to do. To be who you were made to be and do what you were made to do will demand care and gratitude that go way beyond your daily concerns to significantly impact the lives of others.
So, stop long enough to listen. Listening takes time and when you are willing to give your time, people know you care.
So, what do you do to spend time with others? How has it affected your life and work?
Great article! Yesterday I sat next to a stranger in a hospital waiting room. As we began to chat I quickly realized this lady needed someone to speak to, so I listened. Initially she seemed down and out however when the conversation ended I noticed a gleam in her eye. This article reinforces; when we take the time to listen, it may be enough to brighten someone’s day.
Thank you for sharing your experience Cathy. Taking the time to listen is so important.
This is real in my life right now. Time to stop hiding.
We all struggle here in one form or another. It’s great that you realize it and are taking action.
Good word, Michael. Almost every time someone says, “How were you able to connect with that person?”, the answer is that I listened. Time, the power of presence, and a listening ear all cost us a little, but the payoff is so much greater. Thanks for this challenging reminder this morning.
Thanks Tammy for that great story!
The feeling that comes when you’ve impacted the life of another through your sacrifice is called significance. You make a difference when you work outside your own life. You also fulfill your purpose. You were made for this. Yeah – Created for others.
So true, my friend. Thanks for the reminder.
I am finding this to be very true in marriage as well. So many times its not about solutions and solving a problem so much as it is sincerely listening and caring. Ill be the first to admit I am terrible at this. I am a problem solver at heart and so often want to interrupt at work and in the home and point out what is wrong.
So true, Dennis. A couple years ago a college President told me, If you want to develop influence with people, listen for as long as you possibly can before responding. Listening doesn’t come natural for problem-solvers (like me). But it can be learned.