Why walk away from a college degree? Or a job. A diet. That book you were reading. Your workout. New Year’s resolutions. A business plan. Your life plan. A relationship. Attending church. Getting out of debt. Quitting smoking.
You were doing great – then you weren’t. What happened?!
What causes us to give up on our goals? Why do we so readily abandon our dreams? How can we just walk away?
This past week my parents came to spend a few days with us. For days, our daughter, Madison, looked forward to them coming.
The day they were to arrive I promised Madison that she could stay up late with me and wait for them. They finally pulled up in front of the house after 11:30 – way past her bedtime. (Don’t tell her mom!)
We visited with them for a few minutes, then Madison headed to bed.
A few minutes later I stopped by her room to say goodnight. As I turned to leave, Madison asked quietly, “Dad – is it going to be different?”
I didn’t quite understand what she was asking. So I responded, “What do you mean?”
She clarified, “Is it going to be different since Nana and Papa are here – Are we not going to pray?”
Now I’m not sure if this is your style or not – but Sarah and I pray with Madison every night. We have chosen to be purposeful about praying with Madison to give her the opportunity to pursue faith and hope. To learn to be generous as well as grateful. Until that moment, I hadn’t noticed how important this time had become to her – we are fulfilling precisely what we envisioned.
But what if we shrugged it off this one night. Would it turn into two? A week? Two weeks? Would we eventually quit altogether? Would something as simple, as good, as innocent as a visit from Grandma and Grandpa derail this important discipline for our family?
This experience reminded me of 3 reasons we walk away:
1. Commitment
It’s not that you weren’t committed at all. You were. Maybe you just weren’t as committed as you thought you were.
I’ve seen this happen in the workplace – a leader has a huge vision for growth. The organization restructures, launches a new initiative, and begins gaining momentum. Then the negative feedback starts – and it comes from influential people. That’s when you find out how committed the leader really was – and how committed the team really was.
To many, commitment doesn’t mean much anymore. But I know it means something to you – you meant it and you’re going to follow through. You’re going to reach your goal! So get back on track today.
2. Purpose
Your success is dependent upon your understanding of why you do what you do. Did you have a purpose? Was it compelling?
I’ve seen many people give up on a diet because the goal is simply to lose weight. And while that may be a necessary and worthy goal, after a few weeks the motivation to lose a few pounds gives in to convenience and comfort.
You can read about why I changed my diet and how I lost 30 pounds. There was one reason – my purpose for doing so became a top priority in my life.
Revisit your purpose – if you haven’t thought through it, think through it now. Write it down. Make it memorable. Make it meaningful.
3. Distraction
We live in a noisy world – a world of continuous distraction. Life comes at you fast.
Your failure to follow through may simply be a byproduct of distraction – something other than your goal arrested your attention.
Whatever the reason – it’s not too late! You are not a failure. Take a few moments to refocus on your original goal – then get moving again. Just don’t give up!
So…a few minutes past midnight I laid down next to Madison and we prayed. And we’ll do it again tonight.
Question: What keeps us from accomplishing our goals? What do you do to stay on track? Leave your thoughts in the comments.
Thanks for the amazing article. This is so very true and I can relate. The question I have is when critical situations arise and you have to put a goal or business opportunity aside, how do convince yourself to go back to the goal where you left off? Re-motivation is needed for me….
I am absolutely off track on goals. I am struggling with a sense of purpose for the goals i had set for the yea. Floundering…
I appreciate your transparency, Kenneth. And I’ve enjoyed connecting on Facebook and Twitter. How can I help you get back on track? What are one or two particular areas you’d like to address first?
Regaining my vision for a future as it relates to business and the discipline and determination to succeed in it as I once had. My career has been good, yet, for some reason I have simply lost all interest.
Let me know how I can serve you – I’d be willing to setup a phone call with you.
I would appreciate that very much.
Email me using the link on the About Page. We’ll set something up.
Thanks for the story and reminder.
It’s a pleasure, Stan. Thanks for connecting here. I appreciate your encouragement.
It’s a pleasure, Stan. Thanks for connecting here. I appreciate your encouragement.
Wow. Good stuff David. I’m learning that, to minimize distractions, I have to limit my information intake as well.
Wow, amazing how one little question from your daughter could be so shifting. It’s incredible how that’s usually all it takes- one tiny moment. This is a great post. And so true. Thanks for writing this.
I agree Katie. Thank you!
I walked away from a goal at one point because the reason I started on that project went away. Now, I’m back to that goal because I have realized why I need to accomplish it no matter what.
So, that’s purpose, I suppose: if you’re not sure on the purpose, it’s easy to walk away.
That’s true Doug. Thanks for sharing my friend.
Beautiful story about your daughter and her desire to pray. It’s amazing how the habits we’ve set in can be so important to others and yet something we can easily forget.
Recently I’ve gotten off track on one of my fitness goals. It was three times a week of situps and arm curls. But then the big 25k race started to approach. Focus was shifted to that and the other exercises have fallen by the wayside.
So I would say sometimes it’s a bigger goal that overshadows a smaller one. Not that both aren’t important, just one slinks in and takes over the other. Something to keep an eye out for.
Interesting that you mention this Joe – the past several weeks my wife and I made a conscious decision to temporarily step away from a few important commitments. The key is having a review system in place to get you back on track in the future. In this case, my life plan will do that.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your commitment to your daughter and God. I loved this post. I am a new follower here, and haven’t commented before today. But this post was especially poignant to me. Some times I walk away from my goal. Thanks for helping me see why so I can implement the changes to be faithful.
Thanks Kelly. Welcome! We all struggle with commitment at some level. Please let me know how I can serve you.