Think about this for a moment – All relationships are not important. If all relationships are important, no relationship will be important.
Developing and maintaining key relationships is a critical discipline if we are going to genuinely care for people, live out vision, and help others achieve their full potential.
Relationship development (especially with those closest to us) is not something you or I can simply check off of the to-do list. And it’s certainly not an exercise in convenience. Effective leaders genuinely value key relationships and make them top priority.
All about relationship
Sarah and I have scheduled a standing lunch date every Friday. Our lunch dates have become a time for us to push the pause button on the rest of the world and catch up with each other.
Last week we decided to eat a quick lunch and run a couple of errands together. From my perspective, this plan would require an abbreviated lunch to allow time for our errands.
So we selected a restaurant and I asked her if she’d like for me to call ahead with our order so it would be ready when we arrived. Good plan, huh?
If you said yes, Sarah didn’t agree with us.
She responded, If you’re going to call ahead we might as well go through a drive-thru.
Since I sincerely had her in mind when I suggested streamlining the process, I asked her why it mattered if I called ahead.
She reminded me that our Friday lunch dates are less about eating – and all about relationship.
(So we went through the Chick-fil-A drive-thru – just kidding.)
Be all there
It took me several seconds to slow my thought process – and enter the moment with her. She is important to me – my most treasured relationship in the world. So why would I want to rush this one afternoon which we set aside to enjoy our time together?
Important relationships will not grow when we’re in a hurry. In fact, these relationships will become strained and fall apart if we approach them without intention. There are no shortcuts in relationships. So leave the phone in the car. Forget about email, Facebook, and Twitter. It’ll be there when you get back.
Listen. Laugh. Love. Wherever you are, be all there. – Jim Elliot
Worth it
We chose a table out on the porch of one of our favorite cafes in Clemson. Sitting in the cool breeze, we laughed about our differing perspectives. While we talked, I scribbled down these thoughts on the back of my receipt. (I know, I was supposed to be in the moment with Sarah.)
It didn’t really matter that our order took extraordinarily long to make it to the table. Or that this restaurant cost a few more dollars than drive-thru alternative – it was worth it! Because I value her – and I value our relationship.
Prioritizing key relationships will cost you. Relationships require time when it’s inconvenient. They require more money when there’s not much. They keep you awake when you’re exhausted. And, they’re worth it!
Because those few relationships that you value most – whether family, friends, or colleagues – will become those which bring the greatest fulfillment in life.
So create more perfect moments with those who are most important – when time stands still and, at that moment, they realize that they are the most important person in the world.
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What a thought provoking question! The answer I think of is: keep the conversation going with God…or, pray a lot. By focusing on and in Him, I find I’m alive to and in the moment.
Great perspective Lisa! If our relationship is right with Him, our relationships with each other are much better. Thanks for connecting!
This lesson was so hard for me to learn! In my life I’ve paid many tuition bills on this subject to the school of hard knocks. I still work intentionally every day to improve my relationship abilities, both at work and (most importantly) at home.
Same here, Kip. And I’m continue to grow in this area. Thanks for connecting.
Great ideas David. I like the family night.
Great ideas David. I like the family night.
This reminds me of when my father was alive- every Friday we had a lunch date to catch up. Sometimes my mom would join us, but most of the time she didn’t- this was OUR time.
Looking back I am so glad we each made that commitment. I cherish those memories. We couldn’t have known Cancer would take him so abruptly. I’m glad we nurtured that relationship no matter how old I got- I still needed my father.
Good thoughts. I agree with you – these one-on-one moments are important.
My dad and I speak by phone almost daily. I’ve written a couple of posts about his influence on my life. I also eat breakfast with my daughter every Saturday morning. Along with Friday lunch dates, these events are often the highlight of my week.
I understand. My spouse and I are struggling at the moment to find time together- not even sure how to pray about it, but we are trying and God knows what we can handle.
Yes He does. Keep up the good work.
GREAT post, Michael! I needed this today!
Interesting, I also posted about a Jim Elliot quote Monday…
http://christianfaithatwork.com/what-kind-of-man-do-you-want-to-be/
Thanks Chris. I needed the reminder too.