You’ll probably have to make some fairly significant decisions today – in your work, with your team, for your boss, at home, financially. It really doesn’t matter who you are or what you do – sooner than later you’re going to have to make a decision, take a stand, or lead the charge.
This post is part of the series – What Ever Happened to Personal Responsibility?
Would You Return to Your Organization?
If You’re Not Growing, You’re Dying…Really?
Leaders are the Most Creative People on the Planet
Great Leaders Serve
Is Fear Taking Over?
The thought of challenging the status quo or stepping outside of your comfort zone can be paralyzing. And, it’s usually because of fear.
The boogeyman
Several years ago, I discovered that every evening at approximately the same time I was being asked to transition from my role as Madison’s dad to a member of her security detail. My job included escorting her through the house turning on lights before she entered a dark room.
Madison was so afraid of the dark that she required one nightlight in her room and one in the kitchen so she could see well enough to trek through the house in the middle of the night – which usually ended with her climbing into our bed. Yeah, we fixed that problem real quick!
To be fair to Madison, we all have fears. When I was a kid, I can remember having to take the trash out to the street after dark – immediately followed by me running like a girl (no offense ladies!) back to the house so the boogeyman wouldn’t get me. I’m sure the neighbors got a kick out of watching me!
Flip the switch
While all of us have experienced fear, our fears are almost always misplaced – if not totally unnecessary. For example, to dispel the darkness in our home, Madison could have simply flipped on a light switch.
And, now that I’m older and wiser, I’ve learned that there was no boogeyman lurking in the bushes around my home when I was a kid.
Many people live stagnant lives because they fear failure – the most common of all fears. To experience growth, we must be more afraid of missed opportunities than we are of failure.
All of us are born with only two natural fears – fear of falling (which is needed to learn how to walk) and fear of loud noises. Every other fear is learned. And fear is the only emotion that is nearly universal.
In his best-selling book, Fearless, Max Lucado writes:
Imagine your life, wholly untouched by angst. What if faith, not fear, was your default reaction to threats? If you could hover a fear magnet over your heart and extract every last shaving of dread, insecurity, and doubt, what would remain? Envision the day when you can trust more and fear less. Can you imagine your life without fear?
So, unlearn them! Go ahead – face the fear. Your fears lose power when you confront them. Shine a little light on it – the boogeyman will disappear.
Life’s greatest memories are often discovered in the biggest challenges we face. And instead of fearing these opportunities to grow, we can embrace them with energy and passion.
Don’t allow your fears to keep you from growing. It won’t always be easy, but it will always be worth it!
Question: Have your fears paralyzed you in the past? What did you do to get moving again? Leave your thoughts in the comments.
This is my take on fear. I agree that facing the fears one by one can be useful. Travelling solo was once a strong fear but now I constantly challenge that by visiting a new destination even for a day or two. http://www.simplyspirited.com/blog/in-the-boxing-ring-with-fear1
Thanks for sharing part of your story Christine! When we look fear in the face we can overcome it. Happy to hear the progress you are making. Enjoy your day!
I’ve been really fighting to overcome my fear lately. Both the fear of failure, and the fear of looking stupid.
Those are both fears I think many people have. You can overcome them!
Some times it is health to have a little fear (when it help us to protect our lives), but usually fear brings an unnecessary suffering. When we decide to confront it we suffer less during the process. For me the anticipation it is the most painful moment.
Cintia
Pro-Adoption Advocate & Blogger
Blog: http://asavinglove.com
Twitter: @ASavingLove
Agreed – learning to overcome fear and focus on peace during any difficult process is key.
For a while I was trying to do one uncomfortable action a day. I progressed a lot last year when I did that. I’ve kind of been lax on that habit lately though. Still the way I’m living right now is uncomfortable, going public with my music and blog and living off a part-time job, and working on a relationship. Which is good, way more than I did last year. Here’s to confronting fears.
This is a good idea – one action outside of your comfort zone each day. Keep moving!
I see many fears that hold us back…
The fear of:
Failure
Disappointment
Success
Pain
Death(though it’s greatly exaggerated)
Just the other day I received a phone call from a client and I feared answering the phone. For fear that I had screwed something up… Unnecessary and unwarranted.
I know what you mean. It’s interesting to evaluate how we compartmentalize inevitable life occurrences such as failure, confrontation, conflict, disappointment, etc. Since each of these are inevitable, we should view them as “life” or “work” – commonplace. Instead we label them which leads to anxiety and fear. Our fear results in a victim mentality when, in fact, we should accept responsibility for our perspectives, thinking, and behaviors and grow intentionally.
Ha! Laughed out loud at the dreaded ”client call.” Funny how we wait for the call when we have pitched them and then fearing the call after we get them. There’s a lesson in there somewhere, no?
So true. It’s seems most fears are that way – self-generated.
You’re right, Joe!
“The biggest disabler in any life is fear.” – Gary Ridge, CEO WD-40
So true. Thanks for sharing. Enjoy your day!