When’s the last time you were faced with major decisions? College. New car. Marriage. Church. New home. New job.
In a world of abundant opportunities, how did you know FOR SURE you were making the right decision?
In this post, I’ll provide a tool that will help you sleep more soundly both while you’re contemplating a major decision and after you’ve decided.
Day-to-day decisions can be challenging enough – but major decisions can seem impossible. Daunting. Maybe it’s because messing up on a major decision can have significant consequences that will last for years – like this one.
To lead effectively, you (and your team) must have a high level of confidence in your collective ability to make the right decision when everything is on the line. And this confidence comes only from consistently making good decisions.
A Major Decision
While major decisions require significant patience, reflection, and thought, having a tool to guide the decision-making process makes all the difference in the world.
A few years ago Sarah and I were faced with one of the biggest decisions our family has ever made. At the time, I was transitioning out of an organization where I had been serving. And we were considering where my next position would be.
I had been offered two positions and was a final candidate for two other positions. Each of the four organizations were well-respected. And each of the roles appeared to be a good fit for me and for our family.
But my decision was not just MY decision – and my decision wouldn’t just affect me. I was married. We had two children. Spending time together as a family mattered to us. Friends were a major part of our lives. A healthy growing church was important to us. I had made significant life and work decisions that would be affected by a move.
How would we ever get this right?
Wants and Don’t Wants
At the time, my executive coach encouraged us to write out our personal and professional desires for my new role and for our new home.
We called them our Wants and Don’t Wants lists. Our lists for my job decision looked like this:
Personal Wants
Sufficient extracurricular activities in the community for family and children
Highly-rated schools available for children
Spend time with life-long friends as outlined in my SIMPLE Personal Life Plan
Spend ample time with children and support their dreams as outlined in my Life Plan
A healthy, growing church in which our family can grow spiritually and do life together with friends
Support Sarah’s vision for counseling and a future retreat center as outlined in my SIMPLE Personal Life Plan and her Business Vision
Personal Don’t Wants
Required overtime/Weekend work
Reduce writing time – continue to write at least 10 hours/week
More than 30 minute commute to work
More than 30 minute commute to church
Poor accessibility to parents and extended family (either by driving distance or reasonable airport hub)
Setting that negatively influences my spiritual health and growth
Professional Wants
Time for speaking and presenting – 6-10 times a year
Monthly one-on-one with top decision maker
Time for personal and professional development – monthly and quarterly planning and 2-4 conferences annually
Sufficient compensation to provide for family, save, and invest for future – minimum of $X household income
Serve an entrepreneurial team that is committed to creativity and innovation
Support (vs. tolerance) from leadership for living out my core convictions and behaviors – 1) Connect people with God 2) Develop people 3) Simple Systems 4) Decision-making and priority management 5) High level of control
Professional Don’t Wants
Lower level position at a smaller organization
Organizational culture that tolerates mediocrity
Team members who are unwilling to grow
Supervisor with insufficient experience and knowledge of best practices in the industry or in management and leadership
Authoritarian leader who does not support team leadership development
While this list was quite useful as we pondered our major decision, a list by itself won’t necessarily get you any closer to a decision. So we used it to guide us through the process.
Here are 6 steps to follow for making any major decision:
1. List Wants and Don’t Wants.
Write the lists separately then come together and compare them. Whether you are making a family decision with a spouse and children or a workplace decision with your team, you will benefit from the diversity of thought.
2. Create a tool for comparing the options.
Once you list the Wants and Don’t Wants, develop a table or spreadsheet to help you compare the options – the vehicles or houses you are considering, job opportunities, communities you are considering moving to, etc.
To help you with this step, we created a
I’m so committed to helping you succeed in your work that we developed just for you to use and customize for making any major decision. I want you to enjoy the freedom and clarity that comes from making great decisions on a regular basis. And I want you to avoid the struggles that so many face.
Click here to download the Major Decision Guide & Template.
Go ahead and download the guide and template now to make it easy follow the rest of the steps. Once you download it and have it in front of you, then continue on.
3. Weight each Want/Don’t Want.
Weight them in order of importance to you (your team or family) – with 1 being the lowest weight and increasing in order of importance. Again, you can weight them separately. Then come together and gain consensus about the weighting. Wants receive a positive weight and Don’t Wants receive a negative weight. So when scoring, Wants raise the score and Don’t Wants lower the score. You can see how this works in the template.
4. Rate each Want/Don’t Want.
On a scale of 0 to 3, rate each Want/Don’t Want – with 0 representing the criteria is not available or possible. And 3 representing criteria that it is available and supported significantly. Do this for each option you are considering.
5. Do the math.
Once you have rated each Want and Don’t Want, multiply the weight by the rating to get a Score for each Want and Don’t Want.
6. Total the scores.
Add the Scores together for a total score for each option.
The best position to make the best decision
In our particular situation, you will notice that one job option scored much higher than the other 3. This made the decision much easier for us. However, this will not always be the case.
We recently used a similar decision matrix template when we purchased a new home. In this situation, the scores were much closer. Yet, while the tool did help us narrow the decision to just a couple of options, we still had to make a final decision between two very good options.
Let me be clear – no tool or process can make decisions for you. At the end of the day, you are still going to have to make a decision. You are still going to have to step up and lead.
The truth is – you may never be 100% sure you’re making the right decision. The goal is to put yourself, your team, your family in the best position to make the best decision. And this is one tool that can help.
So click here to download the Major Decision Guide & Template.
Once you download it and try it out, shoot me an email. You can even send me your draft to review for you. I’d love to help you review it and send you my feedback.
Question: What significant decision are you considering or have you made recently? How would a tool like this help you with your major decision? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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Narayan Kamath says
Thanks for sharing. Quite structured. I loved it that you explicitly factor in the “Don’t Wants” in your rating of decisions. I have tended more toward using the negatives as filters/tie-breakers.
Michael Nichols says
My pleasure. Yes, “don’t wants” are a major part of our decisions – so we let them weigh in also. Great observation!
Richard Medcalf says
Thanks for this Mike – it’s obvious in some ways but I needed the reminder to do this. A quick question – why do you force-rank each item and use that as the multiplier? Might there not be 6 factors all of equal weight? The way you have it set up, your top factor is worth 6x your bottom factor.
Michael Nichols says
Yes Richard. We have, at times, the same rank to assigned multiple items . Having said that – this should be very unusual. We always recommend the escalating rank. Because it is HIGHLY unusual for two wants/don’t wants to have exactly the same ranking. You nearly always weight one over the other.
Don’t look for excuses to complicate the tool as this will complicate your decision-making process.
As we say in the article, this will help you quantify the decision making process. However, at the end of the day, you will still have to make the decision.
Bruce R. Mills says
Michael, I am glad you posted my thoughts !! Unfortunately, people reading your post who don’t know the Lord as their Savior, would not include God in their thought process… We as christians must not be ashamed of the gospel of Christ, if He is in charge of our lives… To Him be the glory !!
Blessings in Christ, bruce
Bruce R. Mills says
With all due respect to your post…God was only mentioned once, but not emphasized… I thought I was a Christian for 52 years in the business world… I would have read your post and agreed with all of it… Now I seek answers from God through the full power of the Holy Spirit, and when I follow Him, I never have to guess on my own mortal, weak self…
Blessings in Christ, bruce
http://godsmanforever.wordpress.com/2014/01/17/walk-in-the-truth-1172014/
Michael Nichols says
Thanks Bruce. I definitely understand your perspective. My seminary thesis was written on the topic of decision-making and the will of God. And my doctoral dissertation was written on a similar topic.
You’re right – God leads people. He leads people through Scripture – only. And according to Scripture, he confirms His leading in 3 ways – through people (often God-ordained leadership), circumstances, and the Holy Spirit. This post, and the tool I reference in the post, helps me and others to objectively record God’s confirmation through circumstances and people.
The tool allows me to document what I am experiencing and how God directed me and enables me to improve decisions, leadership, and influence to better live out God’s calling for my life.
The tool doesn’t replace God’s work in your life or mine. It simply allows us to document His work to help us grow – personally, spiritually, professionally.
A DiMaio says
Good answer Mike. Since we have known each other, you have never been ‘light’ on God. Thanks for all the encouragement. Anthony
Tom Dixon says
Saved these off to Dropbox, I know they will prove useful…thanks for sharing them. This technique is similar to lean/six sigma methodologies, so right up my alley!
Michael Nichols says
Nice! Let me know how they work for you.
Joe Lalonde says
Love the guide Michael. I will be saving it as it will come in handy in the future.
Michael Nichols says
I’m glad to hear that! Thanks!
kevinhouchin says
A great student-focused Creative Problem Solving program that has been in place for years that mirrors your approach (with some great additions) is Future Problem Solving. Check it out here. http://www.fpspi.org/
Michael Nichols says
Thanks for sharing!
Takis Athanassiou says
Well written article Michael and very useful directions. Thank you for sharing.
Michael Nichols says
Thanks Takis!
Michael Nichols says
Great, David! Yes – Sarah and I regularly discuss life planning and our vision for our work. This kind of open communication proactively resolves many family challenges.
Michael Nichols says
Thanks!