I am task-oriented. It’s easy for me to identify a project that needs to be done and to focus on getting it accomplished.
And I’ve learned that there are times that my “driven” nature frustrates and intimidates other people.
A couple of years ago, I sensed a rising level of frustration within our organization. So I sat down with several of team members and asked them to help me understand how my actions were being perceived.
While I expected some of the responses – others surprised me. Some hurt deeply. Not because the team members were being unkind – I simply had a hard time believing what I was hearing. They said things like…
Sometimes you’re condescending and intimidating.
You occasionally micromanage tasks and projects.
The way you speak to us sometimes makes us feel incompetent – like you think we don’t know anything.
Those aren’t easy words for anyone to hear. But if this downward trend continued with our team, the result would be devastating – to the organization, to the team, to me.
So I spent a significant amount of time thinking about how to improve my relationship with my team members and their perception of my leadership.
And I learned 4 things that every leader should consider when faced with frustrated team members…
1. Perception is Reality
Years ago, a trusted mentor said to me, “ Mike, perception IS reality. Really. Seriously.”
The way your team members, clients, and customers perceive you is how you really are in their mind. And it really doesn’t matter if you agree or disagree with their perception of you.
Your team members perception of you IS reality.
If others perceive you as arrogant and difficult – you are. If they perceive you as weak and unwilling to stand up for your convictions or take up for them – you are.
[Tweet “Perception IS reality. How your team perceives you IS how you are.”]
And there will never be a good reason to justify your behavior or clarify your perspective.
You may have valid reasons for moving forward quickly. They may not understand the pressure or criticism you’re getting from your boss. They may not know what you’re dealing with at home.
But the truth is – it doesn’t matter. Not to them. What they perceive IS reality.
2. Growth is Difficult
When you’re in growth mode, you need to prepare your team for what’s ahead.
Our organization is growing rapidly – today our organization and revenue is 4 times what it was 10 years ago. We’re currently building a $1 million building and we’ll begin construction on a $4.5 million project in a few weeks.
This kind of crazy growth means that there are a lot of moving parts – adding new personnel, launching new initiatives, changing leadership, developing new ways to communicate.
And all these moving parts create friction. Some people handle the growth and change well. Others process them more slowly.
[Tweet “Moving parts create friction.”]
Good leaders pay attention to the stress on the team and organization and make adjustments when necessary.
3. Everything is an Experiment
Since many parts are continuously shifting in growing organizations, successful leaders and teams adopt the perspective that everything is an experiment.
[Tweet “Successful leaders and teams believe that everything is and experiment.”]
Some experiments work wonderfully. Others don’t – yet they can be evaluated and adjusted to be implemented more effectively.
Teams and leaders who can’t appropriately navigate environmental and organizational changes won’t make it! Momentum fades, morale plummets, and team members give up.
[Tweet “Teams and leaders who can’t navigate change won’t make it!”]
4. Listening is Required
Your team members are partners who should know they have absolute freedom to contribute their unique perspective to the organization.
Focus on them. Focus on your people – always! Even if it doesn’t come natural. Even if you’re not good at it. Care about your team – enough to listen.
Their perspective – their perception – will always be different than yours. And if you’re going to understand their perspective, you must listen.
[Tweet “Listening is the most important part of teamwork.”]
Good stuff – but what happens when you work for a toxic leader? Thought these were interesting:
1. They rarely demonstrate generosity.
2.
They seek a minimalist structure
of accountability.
3.They expect behavior of others
they don’t expect of themselves.
4. They see almost everyone else as
inferior to themselves.
5. They show favoritism.
6. They have frequent anger
outbursts.
7. They say one thing to some
people, but different things to others.
8. They seek to dismiss or
marginalize people before they attempt to develop them.
9. They are manipulative.
10. They lack transparency.
11. They do not allow for pushback or
disagreement.
12. They surround themselves with
sycophants.
13. They communicate poorly.
14. They are self-absorbed.
Great tips Michael. Thanks for this article!
It leaves me with many questions that has no immediate answers why they perceive me so. But all in all, i need to understand & make them understand why am so not how they think. Ok,it takes me long,but it encourages me to move next level. Personally,i take all perception & criticism positively for better me.
I’ve been misunderstood all my life!……..Poo! ☺
It is hard though, feeling misunderstood, sometimes I apologize too much for it. I am working on it, thanks to your great articles.
Thank you Lynn. People may take advantage of your humility in apologizing regularly, but at some point they will realize and appreciate that you are leading by serving. Keep up the good work.
One team members negative perspective of you can be an acid that spreads like a virus. Without being present and intentional about your behavior and communication as a leader, one person can rise up and infect the others around them with their unflattering thoughts and perception of you.
As a manager, our perspective of ourselves comes with the privilege of knowing things that our team often does not. Our viewpoint is from 30,000 feet. It’s necessary, and, yes, difficult to get in the trenches sometimes. It’s on the front line, shoulder to shoulder with your team, that you learn what they truly believe of you as a manager.
I want my team to know that I’m crazy, but to be confident that following “crazy” can push them outside of their comfort zone and lead them to personal growth and success.
Great thoughts Chad. Love the idea – “I want my team to KNOW that I’m crazy, but to be confident that following “crazy” can push them outside of their comfort zone and lead them to personal growth and success.”