Why does it seem like you face an interpersonal challenge with a team member every single day?
Someone is not taking responsibility for their behavior. Your boss isn’t supporting you. A team member is undermining the leader. It’s always something!
In Common
Many (maybe most) of our daily interactions involve problem-solving, conflict, disagreements – right?
Yet, with most people, you have significantly more in common than you will EVER have in differences!
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Stop and think for a moment – think of your most challenging colleague. Now, think about all of the areas where you agree .
If this is difficult at first, start small. Then, move on to bigger, more substantive things.
If you’re brave enough to be honest, no matter how difficult the person is, you’ll really only come up with differences in a few areas.
Then why do these differences derail team momentum so often?
Some Teams
Because some teams work on the wrong things.
Some teams work on making sure nobody’s feelings get hurt rather than alignment through transparent dialogue. While some teams work on damage control instead of leading strategically through change.
Some teams resist and react to new ideas instead of experimenting and innovating. While some teams want to dictate rather than collaborate.
Some team members are content earning a paycheck while others are transforming a community and the marketplace. While some teams give up rather than push on until they reach a breakthrough.
Some teams keep people guessing while others clarify and communicate vision. While some teams foster the status quo while others are repulsed by it.
It’s Time
Your team needs a leader that is willing to show the way – a leader willing to grow, a leader willing to serve, a leader willing to speak up, a leader willing to acknowledge a mistake, a leader willing to set aside petty differences and focus on commonality.
Andrew Jackson, our seventh president, once said, “One man, with courage, is a majority.” He became a national hero for his courage winning the battle of New Orleans in the War of 1812 despite being severely outnumbered.
Today is the day! It’s the day you get moving again. The day you decide you’re going to serve rather than be served. It’s the day you forgive. It’s the day you speak up. The day you set aside differences and focus on everything in the world that you have in common.
Question: Why do you think we focus on differences most of the time? Share your experiences in the comments.
Excellent! This was just in time for me. I’ve been thinking about how to deal with a leader in our congregation that is a well-intentioned bully. I’m familiar with the book “Well-Intentioned Dragons.” Do you have any other resources you recommend? Thanks!
A few resources:
Necessary Endings, Henry Cloud
Good to Great (Chapter 30), Jim Collins
Surviving Toxic Leaders, Ken O’Gangel
A Tale of Three Kings, Gene Edwards
Thank you!
Excellent points, Michael. I find them particularly useful because I am currently leading a group that is putting together a presentation about team dysfunctions and how to overcome them. I know your insights will be useful.
Great to hear Stephanie! I’d love to hear about your presentation.
Differences are where the threat lies: similarity is safe. We are so individualistic that we have difficulty realizing that those points of difference are more likely to be why we need a team, and it is not going to our detriment that someone has a skill, opinion, or gifting that is not the same as ours. Instead, we react against it for defense.
Good point, Doug. Differences are intimidating.
So true, David. When it comes down to it – we’re often working toward similar outcomes.
Subtitle for this post; “Everything You Have in Common with That Difficult Leader”
Submission to God and His will, embracing “difficult” people in our sphere of daily operation as His sovereign ministry assignment, is critical to successfully navigating these occupational hazards.
Love the subtitle idea. And your observation is correct – without faith it’s impossible to fully address workplace challenges.