Dear son,
You’re a year old today. It’s been a great year. Quite possibly the best year of my life.
Now that you’re growing up, it’s time to lay a few ground rules.
First, I can already see that you are not going to be content to stay in one place for very long. You like to get around. And I’m cool with that. In fact, I like following you around – it gives me a glimpse into how your young mind works. It reminds me what it’s like to be constantly seeking adventure. To imagine and crave the new. To dream and to be always learning. You’ll teach me a thing or two about creativity and innovation.
Next, your mom is queen – of everything. So prepare now to shower her with flowers and thoughtful gifts. You’ll plan your fair share of royal dates. You’ll never have to wonder if she will accept your invitation – she’ll say yes. Because she adores you. You won’t need a reason for these special occasions – the honor of spending fleeting moments with her royal highness will be enough. She’s already given you a lifetime of love, gifts, and attention so you will spend your entire life trying to make it up to her. You never will.
Your sister is the sweetest princess in all the world. She’s enamored by you. She loves you, plays with you, and spends time with you. Each day is filled with wonderment watching the two of you grow together. Your mom and I could not be more proud and more honored. So love her. Respect her. Protect her. She’s already done those things for you.
Regarding cars, guns, toys, and sports – I honestly don’t have a preference for which ones you choose and which ones you avoid like the plague. I just want you to play – every day. I’ll help you learn to love sports. They’ll teach you about teamwork and sacrifice. And you’ll learn that others are counting on you in your life and in your work.
You’ll need to laugh every day, too. Be silly. Have fun. Let’s face it – I’m already getting old. So I need you to remind me to do these things, too. And you’ll need to tell your son to remind you in your later years.
At least once a month we’ll have guys’ night. No girls! I’ll teach you how to build a killer blanket fort. You and I are going to split an entire box of ice cream (without mom knowing). We’ll go camping, hiking, mountain biking, and rock climbing. We’ll watch tons of action movies. We will make a huge mess with popcorn and stay up way later than we should.
I want you to explore the world of opportunity and all the adventure and mystery it has to offer. This will make mom more than a little nervous – but she’ll get over it (after your next date). And as you travel your path, know that your life matters far more than anything you do and any label the world will ever place on you.
I expect you to work hard – to exhaust yourself doing what you love. God made you to change your part of the world. It’s not hard to see already that He has given you gifts to use to serve others. I am looking forward to how you develop and use them to make a difference.
This next one may be a mini-adventure for us – discipline. Your mother and I will guide you and occasionally correct you. To be honest, it won’t be fun – for any of us. Sometimes it’s difficult to know what’s best for us – especially when we’re young. But we need others – people who have gone before us – to guide us. And that’s an important part of my job. In some ways, you and I will be learning together – I’ve never had a son before. But I’ll always encourage you to look to your real Father – the one in Heaven who made you. We’ll have lots of talks about Him and His Son.
Lastly, you’re already a little man. You will want me to guide you into adventure – and I will! I’ll teach you the ways of a warrior – honor, respect, influence, courage, passion, love. To protect those you love. To pursue what’s right. To fight for the love of your life. But what will matter most to you is what goes on beyond the adventure – intimacy, closeness, connection. An intimate bond of love between a dad and his son – soul to soul oneness.
You are a gift – my son. And I will do my best to remind you how awesome you are every single day for the rest of my life.
I promise.
Love,
Dad
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Mike I am so proud to be your big sister. God has given you such wisdom through the years. Your kids are honored to call you Dad and Sarah to call you Husband.
Thank you. That means a lot. I learned much from my older sister.
Awsome! Very impressive and perfectly thought and worded. Resonates with my feelings. My kids are adults but I have to make sure that they read the letter.
Thank you Michael!
Thanks so much for your kind words. Enjoy your week.
That’s #AWESOME!
Thanks man. And thanks for connecting here.
Thank you for saying so many wonderful and simply profound things that I wish I would have put into words for my own four sons but will be sure to share with them now.
Thanks Aaron!
Great example, Michael…thanks for sharing. I’m getting to experience something recently that I had really been looking forward to – breakfast out with my son, just the two of us. Every Saturday we get up and have Chick-Fil-A together, I love how much he enjoys spending time with me. I know it won’t last, but soaking it up now.
That’s great, Tom. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Thanks for this awesome letter. I believe it is a blessing for so many of us. Inherent in this letter are sound nuggets of wisdom, love understanding, diligence, experience, teachings and biblical truths in sparing the rod and spoiling the child. My prayer is that we shall all learn these lessons and apply them as we relate with our children.
Mine too!
Sounds like maybe you were afforded all this love and freedom yourself when you were your son’s age possibly.
This letter is brilliant!
Thanks Sandra. I do have great parents!
Michael, what and awesome heartfelt letter from a father. I have one question, when do you actually plan to give your son this letter? I’m assuming that he’s still a little to young to read it.
Btw, you have a cute boy!
No – he can read now! Just kidding. 😉 I’m not sure – The key points of the letter are part of my life plan. You can read about it here – http://www.michaelnichols.org/your-life-matters/. With my daughter, I talk about and work on similar things with her every week. I envision doing the same with my son. Make sense?
This is awesome – I love it! I want to show or send it to my brother because it seems like something he would write to my nephew.
Perfect!
Well written though the words in it seems more natural and wish all the best to the entire family.
Thank you Deepak – I always appreciate your encouragement.
What a fantastic letter to your son! No doubt, he will cherish this for a lifetime!
Thanks Mike.
WOW! This is a great letter from father to son!!! He is a handsome little boy!!!! Blessings!!!
Thank you! I agree – he IS handsome!
Great letter! Perhaps this will be something he can read when he’s ready.
Thanks Joe – I’m sure he will.
I like this idea and will be considered as a treasure in future.
I liked your letter! Enjoy every day…it goes by too quickly!
Yes, it does! Thanks for connecting – trust your family and the church are well.
What a great letter! And great idea!
Thanks!
I loved your email this morning, and as an FYI, passed it along to a friend who has some connections with The New York City Center for Leadership. Hey, you never know.
Blessings to you and your team.
Thanks my friend – I appreciate your encouragement.
He looks a lot like you! Can’t believe he’s already one!
Thanks Shirley. Please tell everyone at PI hello for me!
This was a blessing, Michael.
Thanks Barbara! Hope you are doing well!